I've only seen two bits of Bear Grylls' TV program. Is it just coincidence that both of them have brought me to the conclusion that he's a fucking idiot? The first time I just walked in in time to see him crawling breathlessly a few metres through a mangrove swamp in Panama. He finds some sort of mussel type thing, stabs it with his knife, tastes it, spits it out with a horrified "UGH" and throws the poor wasted thing away. He then climbs a tree for no apparent reason, takes his shirt off for no apparent reason, other than perhaps to give the lucky viewers a chance to see his torso and does a frivolous back flip off the tree back into the swamp. He then struggles another couple of meters onto a sandbank, spies a crab which he again stabs with his knife. He lets us know that the crab is well and truly dead, despite the fact that it is still desperately trying to flee and you can almost hear it screaming in pain and frustration. He then rips off one of its claws, sucks out some of the flesh, again finds that the taste is not to his liking and throws the wretched creature away.
The second clip that I saw was picked for me by the annoying guy with stupid hair from the Saturday Night Project. In it Bear Grylls is demonstrating that you can drink the freshly squeezed juice of elephant dung. Nobody needs to know that, let alone have it demonstrated. He's just showing off.
Now it may seem that all survival shows are this pointless and frivolous, but somehow people such as Ray Mears just don't seem that bad. Ray Mears is so much calmer and more thoughtful, and although I can't really see myself getting stranded in the Rockies and needing his camping skills, he does demonstrate things that you could see yourself doing. I cannot see myself trying still warm crab, nor elephant shit juice. Apparently I am not the only one to make this comparison.
If you're interested, the first clip I mentioned is here and here, but you really don't need to find a specific bit of his program it's all ridiculous, just before these clips he covers himself in mud.
UPDATE: I forgot to mention that my parents seem to think that Bear Grylls is some sort of modern day missionary, though I am not sure where they got that idea from.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
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11 comments:
Dude, no need to use the F-word.
He takes off his shirt in order in order to wring it of excess water.
I can imagine you probably would say there is "no apparent reason" for generally hunting and killing defenceless animals nowadays. You might be right, though I think it's quite fun. ;)
I think swearing's ok on occasion, you use "shit" in "shitlist" after all.
He's a friggin' idiot alright! Talks too much, continuous nonsensical BS, perhaps way too much coffee?!!! What's wrong with his eyes? Why does he always bite the heads off things?
What i would like to know is; how can he have done all he says he has done in 21 sas, when it takes 2 years to complete selection (the regulars take 6 months)
Ian
Well I think the show is made for entertainment purposes and to be honest, seeing him eat shit and backflipping and just doing ridiculous stunts is quite entertaining.
YOU ARE WRONG! BEAR GRYLLS IS A VERY DANGEROUS MOTHERFUCKING IDIOT WHO IS GOING TO GET SOMEONE KILLED PULLING THE DUMB SHIT HE PULLS ON HIS SHOW! HE DOES MORE TO JEOPARDIZE FOLKS SAFETY THAN IF THEY HAD NEVER HEARD OF OR SEEN HIS SHOWS TO BEGIN WITH! THE STUNTS HE RECOMMENDS TO GET ACROSS STREAMS, GLACIERS, RAVINES, ETC. WILL IMMEDIATELY RESULT IN BROKEN BONES OR DEATH AND THEN WHATCHA GONNA DO???!!! HE SURE AS HELL ISN'T GONNA JOIN THE SEARCH PARTY TO RECOVER YOUR CORPSE! EVER TRY TO WALK WITH A BROKEN TAIL BONE? YOU FEMUR JUTTING FROM A GIANT GASH IN YOUR LEG? EVER TRY TO MAKE A SOUND DECISION WITH A FRACTURED SKULL AND BRAIN SWELLING? HOW BOUT LYING AROUND PUKING YOUR GUTS OUT AND SLOWLY DYING OF DEHYDRATION? CHRIS MCANDLESS CAN TELL YOU ABOUT THAT ONE! HECK I USED TO THINK HE WAS THE BIGGEST DUMBASS EVER TO TAKE TO THE WOODS...BUT BEAR GRYLLS IS LEAPS AND BOUNDS AHEAD OF CHRIS! THE BEST WE CAN HOPE FOR IS THAT BEAR WILL GET KILLED IN ONE OF HIS EPISODES...IT CAN'T HAPPEN SOON ENOUGH! BETTER THAN SOME POOR IDIOT FOLLOWING HIS ADVICE AND TAKING A SHORTCUT TO THE GRAVE! BEAR GRYLLS IS THE ONLY BEAR I'D LIKE TO SEE DIE IN THE WILDERNESS!
He is a narcissistic self-profiteering animal killer for none other than the purpose of a television show! He has no respect for what he kills.
your all retards honestly, if your stranded in an unknown area with no food, you find>kill>eat whatever you can find, jesus. he only stabs at the head (etc) because its the most humain thing to do in the situation. all of you who post things saying he is stupid/idiotic should jump off a cliff to save oxygen for the earth. The show is dedicated to teach people on how to survive in the wild. He talks fine imo. Anna, your a retard honestly. wow.
ok, he takes his shirt off to cool down, he climbs trees to have a better veiw of the surroundings. sigh, retards in the world
You're right Aaron, I'm training for that day when I get stranded in a forest in the middle of Peru with just a sharp knife, just like the rest of his million viewers. Those survival skills, the ones that I can remember anyway, will come in really handy, just like my concrete bunker and weapons cache when the Ruskies attack.
Seriously though, part of my problem with him is that he *doesn't* eat what he kills, and he doesn't need to kill anything, and he's talking bullshit when he says he's killing it humanly and it's dead when it's patently alive and literally kicking. *And* he stays in comfortable hotels while filming. Unlike Ray Mears.
Also, we may be retards, but we do know how to use "your", "you're" and capital letters. Or maybe you can't reach the the shift button with your non-opposable thumb :)
He really is an idiot. My main issue with him is that he uses the word survival. What he does is the completely opposite of survival. You can point to half a dozen things in any one show that would quickly get you killed if you were really out there on your own. I'd be okay with the show if he never used the word survival. He's a stuntman. Plain and simple. He's doing stunts. Stupid, foolish, dangerous and often rigged stunts. That's fine if you call it what it is. But DO NOT call it survival.
i'v often had harder trips to work ! and i didnt take my top off or kill anything! But the Sheeping bag in ireland was funny!!
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